If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
