I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
