I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
