She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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