My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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