I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
