i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
