His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It was confusing and full of hummus
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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