its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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