I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
