How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
