Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
