i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
