Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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