The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I got her a Nickelback box set.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
