I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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