he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
