90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Someone came in the potted fern
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
