You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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