I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
