I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Blood and glitter go together right?
be right there i have to get my cape
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize