When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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