I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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