My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
