why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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