Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
