You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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