I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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