Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
