I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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