areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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