dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He did a backflip because drugs
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
