they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
