But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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