she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
