One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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