I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
