just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
