Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
