It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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