I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
