i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
