You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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