I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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