Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just had sex on a roof
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
