Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
