i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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