Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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