i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
