Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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