you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
