There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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