I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We left the knife in your bed.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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