I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize