my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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