we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You've changed since you got that strap on
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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