So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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