Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
the raccoons are back...
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