I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
