Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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