I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
