did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
