I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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