My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
