Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
