I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
